Sunday, March 16, 2008

Some normal days can be rough

I have been feeling really out of sorts the last few weeks. We have had a lot of drama in our family. Kitty lost her baby. It was so sad. She was so excited and so was I. So I have been feeling just out of sorts. I can't describe it, except I felt the world was out of control. My feelings were out of control. I was greiving, I see that now but when a person is going through it they don't see it that way. So the week went by with me having a bad attitude, and feeling lonely, unworthy and sinful. So the week went by and many friends stopped or call to let me know that they cared. That didn't even seem to make a difference. Then to top the whole work week off, I stopped at the Holiday station to put gas in the jeep. And as I was getting out of the car and attempting to shut the car door my sleeve hooked on the lock switch and I locked my car keys, my wallet and my phone all in the vehicle. I couldn't get mad. I couldn't even cry. I just laughed and called Rocke to come and rescue me as I sat in the Holiday and got my thoughts together. It took him over 1/2 hour to get there. It was the ending to the terrible week I had just experienced. I learned that God was there all the time and I should have reached out to him rather than try to deal with all those icky feelings all by myself.